“Services” Available At Certain “Saunas” In China Translated

Below are images of service menus or lists at various massage parlors and saunas in China where most of the services available are written as wildly esoteric Chinese idioms that reveal little about the true salacious nature of the “service” itself. Most Chinese netizens are completely baffled by the terms on the menus, while others attempt to decode and interpret what the possible meanings could be.

Translation:

Top: “Honored Guest Park Sauna Department”

Middle left: “The client is god, the [massage] technician is the spirit”

Middle right (blue text): “Technician [masseuse] service principle”

Middle right (red text): “There are no customers with bad character, only masseuses with bad character [service]”

Translation:

Massage Item – Service Price – Service Duration

Golden Foot Massage – 68 yuan – 50 minutes
Chinese-style therapy – 88 yuan – 50 minutes
Thai-style therapy – 138 yuan – 50 minutes
Heat therapy – 168 yuan – 50 minutes
Jaded hand guiding dragon – 198 yuan – 60 minutes
Connecting the pulse of the dragon – 238 yuan – 70 minutes
Illusions of love – 268 yuan – 80 minutes
Flower fragrant salt bath – 298 yuan + 100 room fee – 90 minutes
Amorous cherry blossom – 300 yuan – 45 minutes
Roaming the North Pole – 488 yuan – 60 minutes
Divine dragon sways its tail – 588 yuan – 70 minutes
Kiss of an angel – 688 yuan – 70 minutes

Translation:

Service Menu

Shower room service

1. Love birds hair wash
2. Breast rub dragon’s body
3. Flying dragon on earth

Front service [left column]

1. Ten finger strumming the instrument
2. Countless ties and a thousand links
3. Breast massage
4. Ten fingers linked to the heart
5. Roaming the world
6. Green ocean
7. Desert storm
8. Tuck between breasts
9. Flowing water, golden mountain
10. Toast to the emperor
11. Ice and fire; nine steps to heaven
12. Star wars
13. 360 degrees blowjob

Back service [right column]

1. Foot massage
2. Hand wash the dragon gate
3. Ten finger strumming the instrument
4. Breast massage
5. countless ties and a thousand links
6. Ten fingers linked to the heart
7. Roaming the world
8. Green ocean
9. Desert storm
10. Tuck between breasts
11. Flowing water, golden mountain
12. Lone dragon pass through
13. Seeking the moon under the sea
14. Topple the mountains and overturn the seas

Dragon and Phoenix Chair

1. Wild snake dance
2. Auspicious dragon and phoenix
3. Bravely advance forward
4. Embracing the moon
5. The latter fights arrive first
6. Rapid rise
7. Weather the storm in the same boat
8. True hearts face to face
9. Rise after one falls

Translation:

Service Procedure Chart

1. Bath (10 minutes)
   Water snake intertwine the waist
   Seeking the moon under the sea
   Roaming around the world
   Heaven in the seas
2. Dance (10 minutes)
   Wild snake dance
   Wild cat frenzy
3. King of the world (20 minutes)
   Gentle and tender
   Intimate care
   Water flow from high mountain
   Lone dragon pass through
   Circle dragon spitting balls
   Heavenly ecstasy
4. Backside (30 minutes)
   Ten finger strumming the instrument
   Billowing life
   Music, chess, calligraphy, and painting
   Red lipped kiss
   Dragonfly touching water
   Exploring the dragon cave
   Monkey stealing peaches
   Topple the mountains and overturn the seas
5. Front side (30 minutes)
   Jade hand Goddess of Mercy
   Xi Shi massage
   Chang’e’s kiss
   Sweet dew oozing from the heart
   Tropical rain forest
   Foot love
   Diaochan looking at the moon
   Ice water world
6. Flying in the air technique (25 minutes)
   Upside Down hanging hook
   Fairy tossing flowers
   Swing
   Goose and pigeon
   Gold rooster erect
   Vast flat land
   Make money every season
   Fusion of dragon and phoenix

Comments from VOC:

民工甲:

The martial arts world

WL00085:

Such good idioms, except I don’t understand them.  

澧县双星:

I’ve managed “recreational/relaxation centers” before in the past, hehe, I know some of what goes on inside.

wjlin:

Go try them and you’ll know what they mean.

wojiaolihaolin:

Haha, a sexual service place, [this is all] normal.

人才:

What does it mean?

Comments from Mop:

幻儿幽幽:

So many I don’t understand.

penissy:

Simply [like] a book of martial art secrets [techniques, moves].

doudouyoung:

Who can explain these [for us]…[this is] too professional…

3293782:

Star Wars??

JoeyTribbiani:

KAO, louzhu went as far as posting our Shaolin Yijin Jing of Bodhidharma!

Cc紫:

Very deep/profound…[now] how do you make sense of it?

神咏刹那:

I want to try the 360 degree blowjob…

匿名人士964259:

Shower Room Service

1. Love birds hair wash (Threesome hair wash with two girls? Or a blowjob while shower)
2. Breast rub dragon’s body (No need to explain)
3. Flying dragon on earth (I don’t know)

First image
Shower Room Service

Front [service]

1. Ten finger strumming the instrument (Use hands to lightly touch the body? Not sure)
2. Countless ties and a thousand links (Use hair to tickle the body)
3. Breast massage (No need to explain)
4. Ten fingers linked to the heart (A special technique, use the index finger and thumb to form a ring then use force to pull the guest’s ten fingers until it make a popping sound)
5. Roaming the world (tongue sweeping the whole body)
6. Green world (I don’t know)
7. Desert storm (blowjob with pop rocks in mouth)
8. Tuck between breasts (I don’t know)

Back [service]

1. Foot wrap (Probably applying a hot towel to the foot, some even gnaw/nibble with their mouth)
2. Hand-wash dragon gate (washing the anus)
3 – 8 see above

Second image

9. Flowing water, golden mountain (Sweep the entire body with water in mouth)
10. Toast to the emperor (I don’t know)
11. Ice and fire; nine steps to heaven (blowjob alternating with hot water and ice in the mouth)
13. 360 degrees blowjob (Don’t need to explain)
9 – 11 see above
12. Lone dragon pass through (rim job)
13. Seeking the moon under the sea (bite/nibbling testicles)
14. Topple the mountains and overturn the seas (I don’t know)
…………….

A more legitimate establishment. Personals @ chinaSMACK.