RenRen Statuses by Chinese University Students

This week’s post presents some of the most re-shared status updates on Renren, the Chinese equivalent of Facebook (which is blocked in China) that remains a popular social network for Chinese college students. At time of translation, the hashtag “#Popular Renren Statuses#” had 5,128,589 discussions on microblogging social network Sina Weibo.

I can do only three things in my life at school: 1. Watch academic tyrants [top students] show off their grades; 2. watch couples show off their love; 3. watch local tyrants show off their wealth.

[Responding to above] Even more frightening: Watching local tyrants show off their grades, watching academic tyrants show off their love, and watching couples show off their wealth.

“Hello, academic dregs!” “Hello, academic tyrants!” “Academic dregs, you’ve worked hard [a way of saying “thank you for your hard work.”]!” “We take the bottom positions [in student rankings] for academic tyrants!”

[Note: This joke reflects the hierarchical relationship between high-performing (“academic tyrants”) and low-performing (“academic dregs”) students in China. The dialogue follows the pattern of a National Day protocol between the Chairman of the Party’s Military Commission and the soldiers who participate in the military parade. The original dialogue is: “Hello, comrades!” “Hello, leader!” “Comrades, you’ve worked hard!” “We serve the people!”]

Unity requires negative energy. Only negative energy is conducive to a bound state…the more positive energy, the more unstable…[The phrase] “positive energy” was created by people who haven’t studied physics.

[Note: This quip is about 正能量 [zhèng néng liàng] n. “positive energy”, a buzzword that blew up on China’s social media sites in 2012 that encourages people to stay optimistic and strong.]

In Ideological and Ethical Education class, a female student criticized male science majors for not understanding how to be romantic. A science major stood up and said: When a person writes a paper that will be read by only a few hundred people, and persists in studying a question that the average people wouldn’t even touch in a fickle society, do you have any idea how deep his love for this subject is? When he perseveres so much for the things he likes, how could he possibly be bad to you if he loves you?

On campus, if you suffer from not being able to find a girlfriend, please do not assume girls are all gold-diggers and think you poor; please do not assume girls are all snobbish and look down on your family background; please do not assume girls are all short-sighted and can’t see your diligence and bright future. The campus is not like society where there is so much darkness. The girls on campus are still pure and innocent kids. They simply think you are ugly.

I discovered that I am not suited for applying to be civil servant, because I have a very bizarre name (via @在广州读大学 Qiu Huilu).

[Note: This girl’s name 仇慧璐 [qiú huì lù] sound exactly like 求贿赂 “requesting bribes.”]

Received a text message that was sent to the wrong person “Director Wang, thank you in advance for helping me with that thing!” I quietly replied with a bank account number, keeping my good deed to myself.

(Chen Sheng) made Wu Guang go to the temple in the woods next to where the garrison soldiers were camped and, at night, cover the fire with a bamboo basket to make the fire look like a will-o’-the-wisp [ghost], while screaming like a fox: “The Great Chu will revive, and Chen Sheng will be king!” The garrison soldiers panicked with fear in the night. The next day, the garrison soldiers talked about this with each other: “What does the fox say?“

[Note: This joke is set in the context of “Chen She [Chen Sheng] Family”, an article in ancient Chinese about the Daze Village Uprising, the first rebellion against the Qin Dynasty in China. This article is learned by all mainland students in 9th grade Chinese class. The original words in the end were “[…] the garrison prisoners talked about this with each other, pointing their fingers, looking at Cheng Sheng.”]