Joe
Battle of Wits
We Are Chairman Mao’s Little Red Guards
Content Summary: Xiao Hong’s [“Little Red”] grandpa came back from abroad; he was a spy sent by Soviet Revisionist intelligence agency to collect information on our nation’s technological development. His suspicious activity, from the very beginning, aroused Xiao Hong’s vigilance. With guidance from police officers and through a battle of wits, Xiao Hong obtained the evidence of his wrongdoings and captured this Sviet Revisionist spy.
This story reflects the Little Red Guards, under the guidance of the Great Proletariat Cultural Revolution, embodying a strong revolutionary sense of vigilance and a spirit of courage and wits in a time of struggle.
1. Xiao Hong is a third grade Little Red Guard at Peiying Elementary. One day after school, she carried her backpack and skipped along on her way home. That morning she heard from her father that grandpa will be returning from abroad. This grandpa is her father’s distant uncle, whom her dad hasn’t seen in over 20 years.
2. The moment Xiao Hong walked into her village, she saw her father welcoming an over 60-year-old fatty old man, thinking: “This must be grandpa, right?”
3. Father saw Xiao Hong and pointed at the fatty and said, “Xiao Hong, say hello to grandpa!” Xiao Hong very politely greeted “grandpa”, and grandpa patted her head and said “very good, you’re a good kid.”
4. As Grandpa spoke, he took a gold necklace out of his bag and with a smile said, “Xiao Hong, this is a gift grandpa bought for you, take good care of it, and when you grow up and wear it around your neck, how pretty you’ll be.” It was as if a scorpion had stung Xiao Hong as she took a step back, looked at the red scarf around her neck, and shook her head.
5. Grandpa pressed, “Quick, take it!” “I don’t want it, I have my red scarf, I don’t like this thing!” With that, she turned around and ran to the kitchen to find her mother. She thought, she has seen many overseas Chinese returnees but has never seen someone like grandpa, giving a gold necklace to a Little Red Guard; how inappropriate it was.
6. After Xiao Hong left, Grandpa awkwardly put away the necklace. Then he asked her father: “I hear you work at a university. Teaching, right?” Her father said: “No, I am doing research.” Grandpa commended, “very good, very good!”
7. Grandpa then said: “foreigners say our science and technology are backwards, which is simply nonsense, [because] our nation’s technological development is not slow, right?” Father said: “yes, it is developing rapidly, for example our electrical engineering…” “Dad!” Xiao Hong pushed the door open and entered, casting him a glare.
8. Father saw Xiao Hong enter and said: “child, do not interrupt, Grandpa is not an outsider, I’m just chatting with him and making him be happy.” Her mom came in and seemed to say: what Xiao Hong did was right, you should accept her objection.
9. Upon seeing Xiao Hong’s vigilance and seriousness, Grandpa composed himself, then he let out a thin smiled again and said: “yeah, let me hear about it and be happy, but if [Dad] cannot talk about it, we can talk about other things.”
10. At night, Xiao Hong and her mom slept in the other room. Her father and grandpa continued to talk, and Xiao Hong could only make out something about a “research project”, and “when it will be completed”. But Xiao Hong was still small and liked to sleep, and soon she fell dozed off.
11. Not sure at what time but suddenly a loud “bang” woke up Xiao Hong. She opened her eyes and saw that their family cat had jumped off the table and hit the chair. Then, she heard the sound of her father’s snoring.
12. Just as Xiao Hong was about to close her eyes, she heard another creak and saw that the room door had been pushed opened. Xiao Hong looked and saw grandpa quietly slipping out the door, heading towards the kitchen.
13. After a while, a noise came from the kitchen, and Xiao Hong heard a woman’s voice calling out numbers from a transistor radio, quietly: “four, four, nine, three; one, eight, one three…” Xiao Hong thought it was strange, and nudged her mother, but her mother had actually already woken up as well, and indicated to Xiao Hong that she should keep quiet and lie still.
14. The next day morning, her father and mother left for work. She walked them to the door, tugged on her father’s sleeve, stood on her toes and quietly whispered into her father’s ear about what happened last night and her suspicions about grandpa. Her father encouragingly patted her head and said: “look after grandpa!”
15. Xiao Hong knowingly nodded her head and returned to her room. At this time, grandpa in the backroom had woken up and called out: “Xiao Hong, grandpa has bad hearing. Can you go out and buy some ear medicine for me.”
16. Xiao Hong went over, looked at grandpa, and thought to herself: “his ears are not deaf nor is he in pain, why would he ask to buy ear medicine?” But upon remembering what her parents had said, said she happily agreed.
17. The pharmacy was not far from home, and she quickly got the ear medicine. She handed grandpa the ear medicine, put on her backpack and shouted: “Grandpa, I’m going to school!”
18. Xiao Hong loudly stomped down the stairs, took off her shoes and quietly climbed back up the stairs barefoot.
19. Xiao Hong carefully pushed open the kitchen door and hid behind the door. She asked herself: “he bought ear medicine, what is he up to? I must find out.”
20. About half an hour later, grandpa walked downstairs, looked around, and after not hearing anything he returned to his room and closed the door.
21. Xiao Hong quietly walked onto the balcony, focused her eyes and observed her grandpa. She saw him put on his glasses, take letter paper and an envelope from her father’s bookcase and start to write a letter with a fountain pen.
22. After Grandpa finished writing his letter, he then turned over the letter, took out the ear medicine bottle, put in a rice-sized object, dipped a brush and began writing again.
23. In reality, he is a Soviet spy. A man by the alias of “Big Nose” wanted him to take advantage of going home to visit relatives to collect intelligence on our country’s technology.
24. Last night, he hid in the kitchen and received his secret orders from the transistor radio, and now he is writing a letter to them.
25. As Xiao Hong watched, her heart was filled with suspicion. He first uses a pen and then turns over the letter to use a brush, just what is he doing? She remembered what the Xiangyangyuan worker and police officer had said to her: be on your guard, never forget class struggle… So she decided to report this to them.
26. Xiao Hong quietly walked downstairs put on her shoes and ran toward the police station.
27. At the police station, the police officer warmly welcomed Xiao Hong, and commended her: “Xiao Hong, you’ve truly proven yourself Chairman Mao’s little Red Guard, and have done a great thing for the strengthening of the dictatorship of the proletariat. Just before this, your parents had also come to report this, but to avoid raising alarm, we told them to continue going to work.
28. Then the police officer whispered instructions into her ear and Xiao Hong happily nodded.
29. When Xiao Hong returned home, she warmly called out “grandpa!” as she would before. “Xiao Hong, how come you’re home so early from school today?” that guy asked strangely. “Today we only had one class, and I’m going to do labor now, right after I put down my backpack…” Xiao Hong replied as she pretended to leave.
30. Just as Xiao Hong was about to step out the door, she heard him say: “Wait, Xiao Hong, grandpa need you to do something,” Xiao Hong asked: “what?” “I wrote an air mail for a foreign friend, hurry and mail it for me!”
31. Xiao Hong saw that it was just as the police officer had said, that he was afraid of getting caught mailing the letter himself. So she happily agreed and said “okay, I’ll go now!”
32. Xiao Hong left without drawing attention. She intentionally did not stick on postage stamps and walked towards the mailbox, to see if that guy was watching her. As she neared the mailbox, she suddenly “ouch!” pretended to fall, turned her head and indeed discovered that guy secretly watching her.
33. Xiao Hong stood up, brushed off the dirt, and just as she was about to put the letter in the mailbox, she stopped, knocked her head and exclaimed: “Oops! Forgot to put on stamps, and almost deposited it in!”
34. Xiao Hong turned around, and skipped off to the store. Upon seeing Xiao Hong turn around, that guy immediately ducked back inside, saying to himself: “why is this child so careless?” and began to suspect.
35. Xiao Hong hurriedly bought stamps from the store clerk auntie, then bought an identical envelope and stuck the stamps on it. Meanwhile, that guy’s letter had already been tucked away into her pocket.
36. After Xiao Hong mailed the letter and was on her way home, she dashed into a fruit store, quickly took out the letter and gave it to the political commissar stationed there.
37. When Xiao Hong returned home, that guy angrily asked: “where is the letter?” Xiao Hong responded “I mailed it!” But that guy kept on asking, so Xiao Hong pouted: “if you don’t believe me then go open the mailbox and take a look yourself! Next time, I won’t mail any letters for you anymore.”
38. Realizing that he couldn’t scare her, that guy said: “haha, as long as it is sent, I was just afraid you forgot, and it would be delayed.” Xiao Hong turned around and pretended to be angry, ignoring him.
39. When that guy saw that Xiao Hong was still mad, he put on a pitiful face, and calmly said: “grandpa had been abroad for many decades, without loved ones, so I’m just treating you as my own granddaughter. If you’re willing to live with grandpa, then that would be so wonderful…”
40. Xiao Hong stared at him and didn’t say anything. But that guy started again and said: “Grandpa can send you to college, become a scholar, and in the future you won’t have to…” and as he said this, he once again took out the gold necklace from his bag.
41. That guy forcefully shoved the necklace into Xiao Hong’s hand. Xiao Hong, as if she had suffered some huge humiliation, threw the necklace back and it just so happened to land right around his neck. “You…you” and just as he was about to curse, he changed from anger to joy, saying: “you…you really know how to joke around.”
42. Xiao Hong looked at his wretched smiling face, gave him a glare, turned around, and left. The guy trembled.
43. After Xiao Hong left, that guy sat down in despair and thought: did I say too much? Why was there a mishap in sending the letter? Why is she so cruel to me?” As he thought, he started to break out in cold sweat.
44. Flee, fleeing is the best option. That guy jumped up from his seat and like a wolf greedily scanned her father’s bookshelf.
45. Suddenly his eyes stopped on “Technological Research”. This was the internal monthly periodical that Xiao Hong’s father edited in the university, containing published reports on electronic industry development and new technological discoveries and achievements. That guy quickly opened his back to stuff several books inside.
46. That guy’s plans had already been sensed by Xiao Hong. Just as he opened the door carrying the bag to quietly leave, Xiao Hong appeared in front of him.
47. At first, that guy was surprised but then he forcefully smiled and said, “Xiao Hong, after Grandpa came back, an overseas Chinese asked me to bring him something. I’m going to deliver it now. You be good and watch the house!” Hmph! He’s thinking of escaping. Xiao Hong shouted: “you cannot escape! Take out the books.”
48. “What books? I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” That guy suddenly panicked. “They’re in your bag. You’re a bad person!” Xiao Hong went forward to seize the bag.
49. Realizing his cover is blown, that guy showed his wretched face, knocked down Xiao Hong and ran down the stairs.
50. Xiao Hong endured the pain and gathering her wits, picked up a waste basket by the corner of the wall and viciously threw it at that guy’s head. With a “bang”, he clutched his head and groaned in pain.
51. At this very moment, a police officer and two militia pushed open the door and entered, and solemnly said, “you are arrested!”
52. “You … you cannot treat overseas Chinese like this…” he pouted. The public security officer justly said “we care and protect patriotic overseas Chinese, but we will definitely not tolerate those who would engage in espionage under the guise of being overseas Chinese!”
53. Upon hearing this, fear crept into that guy’s heart, but still he resisted: “what evidence do you have?” “This!” The public security officer took out the secret letter and waved it in front of him. That guy knees buckled in fear, cold sweat pouring. At this moment, Xiao Hong’s parents also came home.
54. That guy was taken away and Xiao Hong happily waved to the police and militia: “Uncles and aunties, goodbye!”
Comments on Sina Weibo:
两个永恒之间：
I saw this before as a kid. Inhuman brainwashing must start when they’re young.
北风hj:
The Cultural Revolution was China’s darkest moment, that brought us selfishness, greed, shamelessness, wretchedness, betrayal, and lies.
秋风秋雨斋主人：
The Xiao Hong of yesteryear grew old and began battling the wits of the young people who help her up after she falls.
早上的太阳阿辉：
Such a retarded graphic novel, I’m speechless.
LittleWing-zhai：
Xiao Hong has a sickness that needs treatment.
乱世之倾奇者：
With a child like this, wouldn’t she just become a beast and devil when she grows up and becomes old? If she could turn the knife on her own grandpa, would falsely accusing and extorting those who help her up after she falls be even a big deal to her in comparison? So when netizens say “it is not that old people are becoming wretched, but wretched people becoming old”, there’s a certain sense to it. This is irrefutable proof of how the Communist Party has destroyed the moral conscience of the Chinese people.
弓箭手在北欧:
The love between family is an extension of blood relations in humanity, and the cherishing of love between family is mankind’s most basic moral behavior. The destruction of the culture of love between family in humans is always an act against humanity, no matter what kind of ideology it is disguised in.
水桥卧底二世：
Think about it: If there was internet during the Cultural Revolution, and there is Weibo, will it be dark times like this? What about now?
Comments on Beidu Tieba:
枫ev:
This girl is truly disgusting.
6号格罗索
Stupid cunt Xiao Hong.
yizhicl:
Xiao Hong later became the best spy in the world.
大岛优婶:
Indeed she was a stupid cunt. If her grandpa was a spy, her entire family would be screwed soon after [persecuted/distrusted by association].
阿妹奥比:
Just what country at the time was retarded enough to steal technology from China?
1圣光之裁1:
No wonder the Soviet Union collapsed, the KGB is full of dregs that can’t even defeat this kind of lolitas.
黑白哥犀利一生:
Take this to North Korea and it would be a best-seller.
悬圃散人:
Don’t they say “Chairman Mao our grandpa”? If so, how can this be allowed?
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