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Dorm Room Muscle Men, Military Training & More

Dalian Maritime University dorm room Chinese muscle men roommates.

#No. 1 Dorm of Buffness#

The #1 university dorm of buffness has gone viral, with a room of 6 muscular men attracting a circle of onlookers [widespread attention]! On September 13th, the @大连海事大学微博协会 [Dalian Maritime University Weibo Association’s] weibo revealed that these students are roommates from Room 610, Dorm Building E3, and Material Sciences students from the class of 2015 at Dalian Maritime University…

Hunky dormmates

[Note: At time of translation, this topic has generated 86,220 discussions on Sina Weibo.]

The Vice President of the Beijing Language and Culture University Student Union…………………I’m just posting this for you all to see………………..

David

[Note: The young man pictured, David, is an international student from Russia and a third-year student in the Chinese-Japanese Department at Beijing Language and Culture University. His Sina Weibo account is @萌主大卫 (“Master of Cuteness David”). At time of translation, he had 19,251 followers. He attended the 2012 CCTV Star of Outlook Chinese Talent Competition and became one of the 10 stars.]

Photos · Those Military Training Banners That Compete Against Each Other for Glamour – Once registration for first-year university students is complete, our little buddies experience the pain and joy of military training. “Military training banners” are no longer so old-fashioned [serious, straightforward], but——”Faking illness [to be excused from the military training] will ruin your whole life; being lazy will result in three generations of poverty; Be diligent in attending training and you will definitely become tall, rich, and handsome. Black [tanned], I miss you so much!”…Instantly cry! Click on the pics and experience it!

Military training banner 01
Faking illness [to be excused from the military training] will ruin your whole life; being lazy will result in three generations of poverty; Be diligent in attending training and you will definitely become tall, rich, and handsome. Black [tanned], I miss you so much!
Military training banner 02
Dota can’t train physical or psychological well-being, only with military training can you have fighting capacity.
Military training banner 03
Kids always faint in the midst of military training. Most are faking it, and will be fine after a beating…
Military training banner 04
[If you] can’t survive the military training, how can you compete with upperclassmen [when it comes to pursuing girls]?
Military training banner 05
If you can’t aim straight in shooting practice, go hang yourself beneath a tree.

[Note: Originally referring to a man committing suicide for love, “hanged himself beneath a tree” is quoted from the narrative of an ancient song “Southeast Fly the Peacocks“.]

Photography results in three generations of poverty, a DSLR ruins one’s whole life.

Homeless man with DSLR

Broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years. Feeling as if the world was about to end, I boarded a double-decker bus. Beside me sat a beautiful girl but I couldn’t even muster the interest to check her out! The conductor came over to sell fare tickets. I thought it was a bus with air conditioning so I handed over 2 kuai [buses in China are divided into air conditioned and non-air-conditioned, with a lower ticket price for the latter]. The conductor glanced at the two of us, tore two 1 kuai ticket stubs off, and gave them to me. I was confused for a second but, being too lazy to explain, I just continued leaning my head against the window thinking back on my four-year relationship and before I knew it, tears covered my face! The beautiful girl suddenly said: It was just 1 kuai, was [inadvertently paying for me] really worth [crying over]?

no

Over the next semester of four months, do you take studying as your partner, for richer or for poorer, no matter if there is a computer or a mobile phone, no matter how sleepy or tired you are, no matter how much you want to eat or sleep, you will always put studying first, with not flunking a subject as your goal, to share both happiness and hardship working towards the same goal without ever giving up, to cherish her, respect her, understand her, and protect her? Do you? Yes I do~!

Nobody should prevent me from studying.
Nobody should prevent me from studying!

A life’s glory is in 12th grade. Thereafter, flunking was often one’s partner.

Flunking permit

I remember one time in university we had a fire drill, so some brothers were upstairs playing the role of victims [people trapped in need of help] while downstairs the university’s leaders stood. Those brothers waved their socks and flirtatiously called out, “Da ye [a respectful way to address older men], come up and play~~~”

Prostitutes in a Hong Kong movie

[Note: The male students were acting like the prostitutes in ancient China commonly portrayed in movies and TV dramas.]

A male classmate is especially good at taking care of his looks. Before going on a trip, he brought along all kinds of cosmetics [skincare products]. Another female classmate made fun of him only for the male classmate to boldly and confidently say, “This is why I have a boyfriend and you don’t.”

pretty boy

#Why Forgo Treatment#

Originally this phrase came from an quote by Yang Yongxin, an doctor who treated youth for internet addiction. Several teenage internet addicts used electroconvulsive therapy [electroshock therapy] in the course of their treatment were criticized and subsequently stopped their electrocunvulsive therapy. “Why forgo treatment” was said by Professor Yang, the original meaning being “why do you want to forgo treatment for internet addictions”, but now often used to tease as well as mock oneself, with the same meaning as “stop taking medicine/stopping treatment”.

Crazy 01

Crazy 03

Crazy 03

Crazy 04

Crazy 05

Crazy 06

Crazy 07

Crazy 08

[Note: This recent Chinese internet meme has generated 2,218,406 discussions on Sina Weibo at time of translation.]

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

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