Rensi
Below is Part 2 of our four part translation of a popular 2012 post on major Chinese discussion forum Tianya. In Part 1, the original Chinese poster discussed why foreign men generally have more success in picking up girls compared to Chinese men, highlighting some of the differences between the two.
Part 2 here is two anecdotes of experiences and conversations the Chinese poster has had with his male foreign friends and their love lives:
From Tianya:
[…]
Having said this much, below I’ll share some examples, that through my conversations with my laowai friends, show what kind of impressions and feelings laowai have towards Chinese girls.
Interviews with laowai:
Laowai A is a German man who has lived in Beijing for four and a half years now. Whenever we chat, he wold often complain to LZ [me] that Chinese girls are SB.
A said: “In the past, I’ve stayed in Japan and Thailand. I feel when compared to Japanese girls and Thai girls, Chinese girls are more SB, more annoying, more unlikable.”
I asked him: “Why did you say this? Is it because Chinese girls are more materialistic? Or because their English is bad?”
A answered: “Because I don’t actually want to get married in Asia, and want to return to my home country in the future, so I don’t have any long-term plans. The thing I dislike about Chinese women is that they are free, and free girls are the most annoying. When I was in Thailand, finding sexual relations was very convenient, extremely, cheap. Most girls could be had by paying money, and they knew the rules, not bothering or clinging to you afterwards. What more, Thai girls are very sexy and sensible.
But my favorite are still Japanese girls. They are very gentle and very cute, very attentive to a man’s feelings/experience. When I was working in Japan, I developed several relationships with Japanese girls, which were of the so-called compensated-dating type. I really like that kind of relationship, open, transparent, fair. I got sexual pleasure, while the girl got money and new clothes. Everyone is very happy.
The ones I like the least are Chinese girls. On the surface, they are girls who don’t want money, but they are actually the most annoying, the most frightening, and the craziest women. They all want to marry me, and even though I’ve made it clear multiple times that I don’t plan on getting married, they’ll still cling to me. One of the women even used suicide and slitting her wrist to threaten me, and another one went to my home and cut my clothes into pieces.
I think Chinese girls are all very stupid and don’t use their heads. One time, I met a Chinese girl. I really liked her, so I suggested giving her money and gifts, and helping pay the rent for her, but she was very angry, even calling me white trash, saying I was treating her like a prostitute, deleting me from from her MSN [Messenger, online instant messaging tool]. Then before long, I heard that this girl had sex with one of my friends, and what’s more, this friend was very promiscuous, who very quickly dumped her afterwards, leaving her very heart-broken.
I asked this friend, ‘How did you get her?’
He said, ‘I just invited her to have some coffee a few times, talked about Chinese culture, then invited her to my home to watch a movie, and that’s it. It was very easy.’
I don’t think men should take advantage of girls. If you don’t plan on marrying her, then it should be made clear, or give her a certain amount of support financially, but in China, many girls are not rational. They are stupid, very insane. If you suggest helping her financially, she instead resents and despises you, so this way doesn’t work. Now I’ve also learned to be like other laowai, inviting girls to coffee, using flattery to get them into bed. But I feel this is like lying, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable.”
Laowai H is French. With blonde hair and blue eyes, he’s quite handsome, but his family is very poor and he couldn’t find a job, so he came to China to be an English teacher. According to him, he made 5 girlfriends in his very first month.
When going out with H, it’s always me who picks up the bill. Sometimes he even brings his girlfriend, and naturally it’s me who pays the bill as well. H has no money, and when you add him having to date so many girls, where he has to spend money, he’s even poorer.
At the time, H had a young girlfriend who was only 20 years old, from Hunan province, with large round eyes, and was very cute and pretty. At the time, I envied him a lot. Later I heard H say that they had sex on their first date, that this girl really loved him, would wash his laundry and cook for him. H said he really wanted to marry her.
Then just a few months later, I asked him how he was doing with that pretty girl. He indifferently said, “We broke up.” I asked why. He said, “She got pregnant. I wanted to take her to get an abortion, but she kept crying and making a fuss, wanting me to marry her, so I had to break up with her. She’s been harassing me these last few months, so I had no choice but change my phone number and move to a new place to hide from her.
Hearing this, I felt a little angry and asked H, “Why didn’t you marry her?”
H told me honestly, “Because I have no money. Getting married costs a lot of money, but I can’t afford to take care of her. When we were dating, I paid for everything. If we got married and I had to support two people’s lives, I wouldn’t be able to do that.”
Later, the women that H dated kept changing, so much that I couldn’t even keep track.
Even later, I became disgusted with his decadent lifestyle, and stopped contacting him.
Then a year later, I ran into H at a bar. He looked energetic and healthy, and the clothes he wore became stylish too, and he even wore a platinum ring. I said hi to him and H very enthusiastically and happily told me, “I got married!”
I said, “Congratulations! You finally found someone you love!” I was pretty happy that H got married, because at least now that he has settled down, he won’t be hurting so many Chinese girls anymore.
H showed me a photo of his wife in his mobile phone. That woman looked very ugly, very fat, very old, and a little masculine. I was a little shocked, but I very quickly recovered, because laowai’s tastes are always a little unique.
I asked H, “How did you guys fall in love?”
H delightedly said, “I went to her home to teach her son English, and then we fell in love. Lili is divorced, is nine years older than me, but we get along very well and really love each other. Being with her, I feel really happy. I’ve never loved a woman so deeply before in my life.”
I asked H, “Where do you live now?”
H said, “I live with Lili. She has three houses, all purchased by herself. My wife is very capable. At 18 years old, she went out on her own to do business and has since opened three clothing stores. Now she’s having me learn how to do business from her, and we’re planing to do foreign trade, exporting cloth to France. I feel very lucky, to have met a woman as good as my wife. She’s made my life very full and happy, and it’s getting better and better.”
After hearing this, I realized the reason why H was with this woman, and it is just one word. His reason for dumping that 20-year-old Hunan girl is also just one word… What this word is, I trust everyone already knows…
Part 3 includes what the original poster believes are common myths Chinese women have about foreign men. Part 4 features translated Chinese netizen reactions to the overall post. Part 1 can be found here.
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