CCTV Says Apocalypse is December 21st @ 3:14pm Beijing Time

The following microblog post by CCTV News, the official state broadcaster, is currently the hottest post on the popular Chinese microblogging platform Sina Weibo. The CCTV News account has over 1.2m followers and this particular post was posted on December 20th at 7:40pm. It has since been forwarded and reshared over 194k times with over 57k comments spanning over 2850 pages (at time of translation)…

On Sina Weibo:

@央视新闻: December 21th 3:14:35pm, Beijing Time’s “Apocalypse”: 2012 December 21st is the last day of the Mayan calendar, which is to say the so-called “apocalypse”. And because of time zone differences, it is at December 21st 3:14:15pm Beijing Standard Time that China will enter the “apocalypse”. One netizen joked: “This time is good, at least the stock market will have closed, and I can see whether I’m up or down.” Tomorrow afternoon at 3:14 and 35 seconds, what will you be doing?

Comments from Sina Weibo:

哲学的游客：

Review CET-4!

关城小亮：

I’m actually making dumplings at the moment!

老塞但：

This time isn’t bad, I’ll be in class!

邱德瀚：

Didn’t they say it would be 2pm on the 22nd? At this time tomorrow, I’ll be preparing for a test…

大顺的未婚妈妈：

Probably on the internet.

小韜小唯：

Working!

杜晃悠：

Won’t be able to see tomorrow’s Xinwen Lianbo, so sad, can you please broadcast it earlier?

翔宇Elton：

Police, hurry and arrest them! CCTV is spreading apocalypse rumors!

瑞瑞陈：

Arguing with stupid cunts.

蓝冰红茶：

Waiting to die.

吳國彬同學：

zzzZZZ……

红颜为jun醉：

Be with family.

鲍平v：

Let the leaders go first.

千里缠捐：

I’ll be on the Ark [referring to the ships from the movie 2012.

北寒中国游：

Even CCTV is playing up the apocalypse.

南宁林朝阳：

I’ll be dancing Gangnam Style!

愛感覺：

Miserable cunt me will be taking a test.

不應季的邀請-：

Young miserable cunt me will be working…

心随翔漂_月明：

Don’t be stupid. The end of the world will not be coming.

第一财经首席评论：

Can’t believe CCTV would be this precise…

心本无染：

Maybe I should set an alarm…

lovelybaby爱乐乐：

Tomorrow at 3 the dentist will be giving me a tooth filling. Had I known earlier, I would’ve set the appointment for 3:15.

学着公鸡叫长大：

I’ll be shaving…

普通法西斯：

Hope it’s the end of the world for CCTV and its masters.

木牙步：

December 22nd is my birthday. I wish myself an early happy birthday.

SYS李政：

Signing a contract with a client, giving him a humidifier, so he won’t be too dry when he dies.

杨芊是我也可以叫我杨大芊：

Don’t spread rumors!

知秋小猪：

Posted by CCTV, I’m just forwarding it… it’s not by me!

路过心上的句子007：

Giving my loved ones a call.

Jewel章：

Only the ignorant would believe this. The end of the world will definitely come, but it isn’t something that this age/era will see.

The minute before and after 3:14pm Beijing time…

我本善良19840502：

Just one minute left…

陈思琦是你们的好阿姨：

It’s almost here, so nervous.

北马Marvin：

Dears, begin tilting your heads.

[Chinese netizens on Weibo began changing their profile photos showing them tilting their heads to one side, joking that if everyone did that, they could shift the position of the planet and avoid the impact, thus avoiding the end of the world.]

moley珊：

No change at all.

chunxi-春喜：

Soon!

热火–朝天：

The time passed.

发质中心：

SnEik谦：

Right now Beijing is 3:13pm.

扬兴饰品：

We’ve been tricked by the Mayans, ha!

风筒：

Yanyan, daddy loves you!

YoonJae_专心致志修身养性：

Is my watch one minute slow…?

慕歌3117855357：

Come on…

我家少爷轩轩：

I’m picking strawberries.

跟随心走Ftherest：

A bunch of SB have been tricked.

海丰县梅陇镇：

What happened to the apocalypse?

莵子姐：

Still alive…

1988年的美丽青春：

Alright, reborn, the world is the same as before.

Hours later…

pistachio1218：

I slept through it!

伽霏貓壹：

This isn’t saying the apocalypse is over…but that it is just beginning…

罗幕轻：

I thought it was tomorrow? It was actually today!?!

__Crazy丶剑飞：

Liars, humph.

_久了旧了_L：

Fuck…I completely overlooked this time!

你万古留青了没：

We had just skinned a rabbit.

Berkin叶：

All I know is that today is the apocalypse for rumor-mongers.

伯隆：

I’m still here, so lucky, I’m so thankful for everything!

zb傅志彬：

They said it would be the end of the world. I even Taobao‘d a ticket for the ark.

薄荷要好好奋斗：

What? It already passed?

sywwf：

What else can be done? These past few days, I’ve kept 20 billion in underworld money on me at all times, keeping it by my pillow even when I sleep, just in case the unexpected happens. I’ve already prepared everything, awaiting that very moment.

不是黎老湿-我叫黎日月：

I laugh… this was pulling my chain… a bunch of unreliable Mayans. Just what kind of information did they leave us?!

A小小萝卜头：

The Mayans are so unreliable. Just what civilization did they have? All bullshit.

_宗子健_：

All nonsense.